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What are the causes of failure of the romantic relationship? How to solve couple problems? How to avoid relationship failure? And above all, how to use the tarot to find a solution?
Whether it’s couples aged 10 and over, or fresh dating, a couple is never immune to the relationship breakdown. Some arguments and disagreements, through repetition, end up leading to separation or outright breakup.
Yet everyone aspires in the medium or long term to build a stable and lasting relationship.
However, we see that even the most beautiful love stories can end in separation. Being together for a long time does not protect couples from a break-up… As the relationship lasts, it becomes deeper and the causes of break-up become more and more complex to decipher.
Trust is undoubtedly one of the biggest pillars of the relationship. Even more than love in building a couple. Lack of or loss of trust can spell the end of a relationship even if there is still love. Confidence is hard to build. It is also fragile to maintain because it can be violated quickly. Once lost, it is very difficult to regain it. In addition, everyone’s personal history can put it at risk.
If one of the partners has difficulty trusting due to a lack of confidence and personal self-esteem. Or if he can’t trust because he expects the other to fill his own fears, it could cause the relationship to fail.
This is so because trust is related to the feeling of security. One of the essential needs of the human being. Not feeling safe creates a climate of mistrust and stress that is not conducive to good understanding.
To better understand how it works, I refer you to an article which details Maslow’s Pyramid and its impact on our behavior.
Thus, this lack of trust will escalate creating failure of the relationship. Lack of confidence can also be based on irrational fears created by jealousy, emotional dependence or even emotional possessiveness. Lack of confidence can appear directly or in an insidious way.
We can think: problems of jealousy, obsessions on certain points (partner’s behavior); affective possessiveness, or conversely infidelity to reassure ourselves that we are able to easily find someone; emotional estrangement, lack of support due to lack of involvement (fear of getting involved because no emotional security) …
And other toxic behaviors leading to failure of a relationship.
The lack of confidence may be based on irrational fears built in the past. It can be rooted in a bad experience of one or both partners. But it can also be based on situations understood in an equivocal manner by one of the partners.
For example, fear: to be left, to be deceived, to feel less important than other people (feeling in emotional competition – with the partner’s children for example, etc.).
The tarot can help you understand what are the fears that you alive if you are not able to trust your partner. But it will help you even more to understand why your partner cannot trust you.
The Tarot can be a great help when it comes to understanding what is wrong with the couple.
You can also consult the Tarot and Love training to help you better guide you in the romantic relationship. This training is totally focused on the Tarot and feelings. She explains how to evolve your relationship to feel good and in harmony in your relationship. Or evolve to create a harmonious relationship.
A good way to better understand your partner is to question the Tarot on his feelings. Indeed, what we see, what the other lets us glimpse is sometimes misleading. The injured person will not show what is hurting him. Or you will not understand why she reacts in such and such a way. For this, I suggest you read the guide on tarot readings, how to discover someone’s personality.
When two people enter a relationship, they each have a very personal view of what a romantic relationship is. This vision is built by their education, their experiences and the role models they have been exposed to throughout their lives.
Each often waits for the other to respond to this vision. For example, Madame will have a romantic view of the relationship. Mister a professional vision (working hard to feed the family) … He will expect her to be present and to support him. She will expect him to be present and to have little attentions.
She will want to have children right away and will prefer to wait until she has enough money to buy housing and have children …
One will want to get married right away, the other will want to consolidate the relationship before
The vision problem is insidious because there are so many visions and so are expectations. It is very rare that partners have the same vision of their relationship. The big difficulty and the cause of the failure of the couple in this case is that each one remains on his vision. He doesn’t want to adapt or understand the other’s vision. Each also believes that their vision is the only viable and true vision of the relationship. The result is a sometimes hopeless confrontation.
The difficulty of understanding the other
Living together is precisely to be able to compromise on this very personal vision. It is to find a common ground where each one lives a part of his vision while accepting the vision of the other. If one gives up his vision of a couple, he no longer feels in his place and disagreement begins. And there again it is the failure of the couple relationship .
Of all the causes of marriage failure, this is the most difficult. This is because everyone is convinced that their vision is the couple’s true vision. Therefore, everyone tries to build the couple in their own way. Unfortunately, this creates clashes because sometimes these visions are diametrically opposed. But it goes even further. If, for example, there is a conflict, and everyone has a different view of the discussion, the conflict cannot be resolved. One needs to talk and the other needs to be silent. To resolve the conflict, one thinks that the other does not want and feels rejected. And the one who is silent needs silence and feels persecuted. A dead end if both cannot understand each other’s values.
Sometimes the vision is not expressed clearly and only appears through refusals or reproaches . It is therefore sometimes very difficult to detect what one or the other really wants.
The tarot will be of great help here because it will clarify the situation. It will make it possible to understand what is the vision of one and the other and how the partners can come to get closer . This is all the more important because it even happens that when caught in his vision one of the partners completely omits that of the other. He will be called selfish, to be focused only on himself … and that will be the break.
The tarot will also help you through readings such as the couple’s reading for example to know if the doubts you harbor have real grounds. O u whether they are based on emotions and feelings (following your own personal story) and therefore influence your interpretation of situations.
One of the more and more frequent problems is that of being out of step with your partner. Indeed, we can find ourselves in a situation where both partners are in active life and one progresses more than the other. If it is Madam, there may be difficulties of acceptance on the part of Sir.
It is also possible that in the couple one decides to take care of the children and the other is in the working life. A gap can then appear because one finds himself confined in a situation and the other evolves, sees the world, develops his social life.
It is possible that one progresses more quickly professionally and that the other has problems in his work… This represents a multitude of sources of conflict due to the discrepancy that may exist in the emotions and moods of each. Problems can often arise from the fact that the other partner may feel helpless or belittled or else may feel less than the other.
One of the best ways to solve this problem is obviously to work on communication . If each partner is able to express their feelings and needs and they can listen to the other’s needs in the same way, there will be a better understanding and perhaps decision to find a compromise.
Understanding how to work together also means finding a place where both can find their account. The relationship cannot be out of balance. If one of the two lives a hectic life full of contact and the other stays alone and isolated at home, the relationship will not work. You have to get everyone to be in balance and to feel welcomed and loved in the relationship. This means to avoid failure in the couple to do things together. To find time so that everyone can feel loved and welcomed by the other.
Here we come to one of the biggest problems encountered with that of the lack of confidence. When we talk about communication, it is not just about speaking but about saying what we feel.
And especially to listen to what the other feels, probably the most difficult point.
It appears that communication is more and more difficult, we are more and more solicited everywhere and less and less available in the couple. Moreover, to hear the other is to listen to him. This means that what he says, communicates by word or by his gestures and actions is important. You should not see it from your own point of view. It is a question here of putting oneself in his place to understand his feelings. This is called having empathetic listening.
Communication with trust are the two biggest pillars of a couple’s success. Communicating means genuinely exchanging, above all, what one feels, genuinely talking to each other without closing off when it is difficult.
Communication, like trust, is a daily work. When there is no more communication in the couple, there is no longer a safety valve. And when conflict does arise, it can escalate very quickly to relationship breakup and failure. The other then becomes a complete stranger. But that’s because during the relationship, we didn’t bother to figure it out.
To solve this communication problem, it is important to be attentive and to listen to the other and especially not to be afraid to express his feelings, his desires his fears and to listen to that of his partner.
Want to: Change your partner,
Whether it is one way or another, Change your flaws (believed to be flaws), in a word, adapt it to yourself
It’s not accepting it as it is. In the long run, wanting to change the other is going straight to the failure of the relationship.
Very often, wanting to change the other is to refuse what he is in order to make him pass to what we are.
We must not confuse personality and habits. The couple relationship involves the need for compromise and adaptation in habits. But it also necessarily involves accepting the personality of the other. It is important to note here that one should be aware that some character traits that one finds initially distressing in one’s partner may end up being perceived as downright unpleasant after a few years.
This implies, that although in the beginning the feelings and the desire to be together mask the flaws, the latter are not absent. So, you really have to be aware when entering into the relationship of what you are able to endure or not support in the long term. For it is clear that it is strictly impossible to change someone’s personality, just as it is impossible to change yourself.
Therefore, if it is not possible to change yourself, why ask the other to change? If you want there to be evolution in the relationship, and in the partner, you have to start by working on yourself. Everyone has a personal path to follow. Maybe hers is different from yours. Maybe some of its flaws are there to help you progress.
It is not possible to change the other. And even less if it does not come from his own desire. On this point, unfortunately, there is no compromise, just an acceptance of how the other is. Through this we can also see in some couples who can no longer support each other because of certain manias of one or the other that it is sometimes more important to ask the question “What is it?” who motivates me to stay in a relationship? The fear of being alone or the feelings I have for my partner?”.
Sometimes it is necessary to take a deeper look at the situation and seek to understand your own motivations. What are your own expectations of your relationship? This, in order to better understand what you expect from your relationship and your partner.
Some relationships only exist because they are based on the fear of leaving each other, of being alone, of losing the children, of not having enough to live on… These fears appear to be real for the person who lives them. But they also constitute brakes and obstacles to a good development of the life of the relationship. A large number of couples operate in this mode. One partner stays because he thinks he has no choice. Or that he is afraid to leave his current partner. Relationships that exist on the basis of fear cannot be healthy, fulfilling relationships.
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